monsoon madness event logo

Let's hope it's just a long puddle

and not the source of an estuary…

Destination

Mumbai, India

Distance

2180 kilometres (1,360 miles)

Vehicle

Auto rickshaw 150cc

Where's my inflatable armbands?

Two years after competing in the world’s first auto-rickshaw rally “The Rickshaw Rampage”  – an email landed in our inbox.

“Are you interested in another auto rickshaw rally?”
“Yes. What’s the plan”
“A bit like last time only in a different direction and a lot wetter”
“OK, will book flights”

Little did we realise at the time how much wetter “a lot wetter is“.  This became especially apparent when navigating our way across the Indian sub-continent in monsoon season in a vehicle that had no sides and a hand-operated windscreen wiper.

Add to that some woeful preparation and and you’ve got all the ingredients for a classic Extreme Trifle adventure.

Welcome to Monsoon Madness.

Sitting on this would be more comfortable

Chasing the setting sun

With the help of our Indian fixers, the plan this time was to cross the Indian sub-continent from Chennia on the East coast up to Mumbai on the West coast. A journey of over 2,000 kilometres before factoring in the wrong turns and road closures due to flash flooding / landslides / mudslides and other types of slides.

Navigation should be easy right? Were going East to West, right to left. And up a bit. When all is said and done just follow the setting sun. Which would have been fine if the sun was actually visible.

For the majority of the trip we were fortunate if we could see through the windscreen. The manual equivalent of the super-fast wiper setting was like pressing the fire button on a retro arcade machine if it constantly moved from side to side.

Pimp my 'shaw

With team names like Smokey and the Pandit, Pirates of the Currybean and Mumbai Vice, the rickshaws had custom paint jobs to match. Out went the standard battered yellow paint job and in came the flames, go faster stripes and fluffy seat covers.

Team Iced Tea & Notorious Bhaji (that’ll be Oz and Jim then) officially out pimped everyone with their 5.1 Dolby surround sound system, disco laser lighting and onboard fridge.

So with the usual chaotic lets-get-out-of-town driving tactics we sped off out of Chennai in a haze of blue smoke. Our first stop was the Madras Motor Sports Club where it had been arranged for us to do some free laps of the race circuit.

In hindsight, letting thirty-two rickshaws driven by inexperienced but hugely excitable drivers was not a smart move. Half an hour later three of the rickshaws had been upside down so it was decided we’d better leave.

The Big “O” set the standard early on after they shot straight off the start line and failed to turn right. Fifty yards in to the rally and they were already hitching a lift in the press car having shortened their rickshaw by a few inches by driving against the downtown traffic.

Did you know..?

Monsoon rain is excellent for having an impromptu outdoor shower

Auto-rickshaws are always one loose bolt away from catastrophe

It is possible to never want to eat curry again

Not all coconuts are brown and hairy

Discover all these facts and more in our Trip Diary!

Rubber stamp

After a slap up lunch of cornish pasties, monster munch and a Thatcher’s Gold we had a surprisingly productive afternoon such that by early evening we were actually ready to put the bikes through their 17 point desert-worthiness check.

16 points of this were Oz’s pre-ride checks such as ensuring left and right shoes were on correctly and at least one contact lens was in.

The all important point 17 involved riding a bike, fully loaded, to the end of the drive and back without ending up in the neighbour’s hedge.

On the basis this was achieved, albeit with some wobbling and some moaning we declared all vehicles ready for departure, packed up both tools and went to the pub.

What happened next is laid bare in our trip diary. But first here are some interesting facts about the Sahara desert to read about while on the toilet.